Being paranoid is good. Everyone IS out to get you!
The only thing more accurate than opposing paintballs is friendly paintballs.
Friendly paintballs are NOT!
If your plan is going well...it is an ambush and they are setting you up.
A "Lucky Shot" is as good as if you meant it.
If your opponent is in range, then, uh..., YOU ARE, TOO!
Never hide behind a tree - or a teammate - thinner than you are.
If a "Great Idea" didn't work, it probably wasn't a "Great" idea after all.
If a "Dumb Idea" works then it probably wasn't a "Dumb" idea.
Try to look unimportant, your opponents may be low on paintballs.
Standing around whistling, with your hands in your pocket is NOT the way to look unimportant.
Teamwork is important - it gives the other team multiple targets.
The "diversion" you are ignoring is the "Main Attack."
Things that make you a "Paintball Magnet" (and Irritate Nearby Teammates) :
Making lots of noise.
Showing off in the Staging Area before a game.
Wearing bright colors.
Having a nick name like "Terminator."
Having a reputation of being "Really, Reeeeeally Good" at Paintball.
Being alive and being on the playing field during a game.
Being DEAD and being on the playing field during a game.
Anything.
Nothing.
When you have an opponent in your sights - his partner is right behind you.
One hit is better than 199 near misses. (200 round hopper) Close only counts in Horseshoes and Paintball Grenades.
Remain calm. Keep reminding yourself, "It's only a game. It's only a game."
There is always someone better than you - and they are probably right behind you.
You know it is time to change your strategy when:
Vultures start circling your end of the field
You catch the squirrels in the trees laughing and pointing out your location to the other team
The other team throws their hands in the air and leaves
Pigeons start using you for statues
Spectators are "suiting up" and coming in to help you out - when they can quit laughing
Always remember your expensive paintball gun is dependent on a 50 cent O-ring.
A team is not a team if all its members don't show up so... SHOW UP!
And finally, coordinating a paintball team is much like operating a complicated piece of equipment.
The more moving parts you have the more chance there is of something going wrong. SPLAT !
